Kevin Myers: Relax, my apolitical friends, this is an election-free zone
Today is the first day in which this column establishes a sanctuary for readers away from the G*****l E******n. This is the columnar equivalent of Ireland's first nudist beach, but as well as insisting on bared pubic regions and untethered mammaries, we are GE-free.
Off-duty gardai patrol these column-inches, to ensure that no GE agents wriggle in amongst the naked sunbathers, trying to sell them bikinis or thongs. Sticky things, thongs; and we don't allow any Stickies here.
Ah, we have our first guests of the day approaching the beach. And it is Senor Silvio Berlusconi, a radiant example of the mortician's art.