Friday 23 February 2018

Kevin Myers: Make an export-driven comeback selling CDs of vocal Viagra -- our purring AA Babe Watch team

Kevin Myers

Enough! Stop! No More! I surrender! I've read more about economics in the past two years than the CEO at Cape Canaveral has read about the space-shuttle.

The difference is, of course, that I can remember almost none of it, primarily because it appears to have been written in Old High Tibetan. However, I have at least learnt that so many unpleasant words begin with "f": f-words like, finance, fiscal, fiduciary and failure. Oh yes, and filth, filch, flay, flog, fury, flagellate, freak, flail, fall, flounder and flop.

Moreover, some economic terms have changed our view of the world. Once upon a time a Bond-holder was a young woman with big breasts, few clothes and a short life-expectancy: now it's a reincarnation of 1939, a sort of Hitler-Stalin pact, to whom or which we are forever beholden. We throw them a child: they devour the infant, pick their teeth, burp, and say the child didn't arrive on time: another one, please. And so on, infantae ad infinitum. Yes, and do you remember those happy days when liquidity was simply wetness and Solvency was an ocean in the middle of the USSR?

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