Saturday 16 December 2017

Kevin Myers: Let's ask the Israelis to take charge of our passport office

Kevin Myers

IT'S simple. To resolve the crisis at the Passport Office on Dublin's Molesworth Street, we should hand the place over to the Israelis. Because when it comes to giving out passports, they're the bee's knees.

It's true, not everyone who gets an Irish passport the Israeli way is, strictly speaking, always entitled to one -- but is this not keeping to an old Irish tradition of making non-Irish people feel welcome, like the Eskimo habit of lending out wives? Didn't Charles Haughey shower passports on foreigners, usually dusky ones with prayer mats? And if the Israeli government can do something similar for armed Israelis, should it not also be scattering Irish passports upon a few unarmed Irish people also?

And where Mossad cannot oblige, perhaps the British can make good the shortfall -- though with British passports. Because Sinn Fein's artful negotiating skills not merely extended British rule to south Armagh for the first time in 25 years, and disarmed the IRA, and placed various Shinners centrally in the maintenance of British rule throughout the North, but -- bless my soul -- they also succeeded in extending the possibility of passport-claiming Britishness throughout what is still called the Republic of Ireland. Though with Sinn Fein's customary political brilliance, the word 'dominion' will probably soon become the law. Quite a successful war, eh?

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