Kevin Myers: 'I recently had a hand in the castration of poor Ronaldo'
This column is for the over-18s only, though he-readers aged 15 and over may peruse it in the company of their parents. All lesbian-feminists are barred.
Life, as you know, is a pyramid that begins with bacteria, moves up through the simpler forms of vegetation, ascends into the various kinds of small animals and ends in the highest and most glorious living form, namely Jackie Healy-Rae. In between are layered the rest of us.
Somewhere just beneath the redoubtable TD for Kerry in this human hierarchy rests the languorously explosive felinity that is Ronaldo. He might well be the most beautiful human being alive: he is certainly one of the most sublimely captivating footballers. And it might come as a salutary lesson for my many critics in the Kingdom that recently I had a hand in castrating Ronaldo.