Monday 19 March 2018

Kevin Myers: Fine Gael needs a little less of the Kingstown knitting and a little more of the Kshatriya knight

Kevin Myers

Never mind yesterday's result: observing an attempted putsch inside Fine Gael is rather like watching the Kingstown Presbyterian Ladies Knitting Circle try their hand at Turkish wrestling. Quite simply, Fine Gael doesn't do leadership, and it doesn't do ruthless.

And it does treachery about as well as it does lechery. (There, now, is the great unwritten thesis of independent Ireland: Libido and Fine Gael, a subject to rank with Ice Hockey in the Congo). Indeed, modern Fine Gael doesn't do anything very well, apart from being also-rans. I mean, look at the polls: it's barely ahead of the party that has nearly destroyed the State, and is way behind the crowd that would, if given the chance, destroy what's left of it.

Putting the boot into Fianna Fail should be as easy as mugging Myrtle and Hazel of the Kingstown Presbyterian Ladies Knitting Circle as they totter out the Wednesday whist drive, light-headed from the tinned fruit salad and Bird's Dream Topping. Doing the same to Labour should be just as easy: half of them were once supporters of the USSR.

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