St Patrick's Day - when everyone's proud to be a stereotype
So, have you got your silly leprechaun hat? You know the ones I mean, don't pretend you don't. I'm talking about those hideous Mad Hatter mitres that are usually worn by some eejit sitting in front of you when you're at a match. You normally hate them, but not today. Because today you'll make an exception and proudly wear your hat, because what better way to block everyone else's view of the parade?
While we're at it, have you had your first drink of the day yet? Yeah, yeah, I know. You'd normally only be tempted to have an AM tipple on Christmas morning, but hey, it's our national saint's day. Anyway, can you come up with a more fitting way to commemorate the introduction of Christianity to this island than a lunchtime bender followed by a scrap in O'Connell Street?
We may not do very many things particularly well in this country, but we've long had a tradition of excelling at absurdity and events don't come much more absurd than St Patrick's Day, the national celebration that invariably turns into a cause of national embarrassment.