Spare us from the pontificating celebrities and think for yourself
So, have you figured it out yet? Have you discovered what measures we need to take to save the environment/planet/ economy?
Wadda ya mean you haven't a clue? Wadda ya mean that these things are too complex and intricate for any one individual to wave a magic wand at?
If that's your attitude then there is just one thing we can say about you -- you're definitely not a celebrity.
Because a celebrity would have the answer. To everything.
If there's anything worse than having to go through the crap we're all experiencing right now, then surely it is having to watch the smug faces of an array of celebutards pontificating to the rest of us about how we should live our life.
After all, it's bad enough when we have the bloody Green Party, surely the smuggest, most self-satisfied bunch of tossers we have in the Dail, telling us that we're personally destroying the planet by the simple fact of getting on a plane before they then jet off around the world. But at least they have been elected and, in another example of why democracy can be quite delightful at times, we can now look forward to unelecting them.
But when you see the likes of Coldplay's dreary little front man Chris Martin banging on about the dangers of air travel while crossing the globe in his private jet, that's when your teeth begin to itch with the rage. Likewise James Blunt, a man so utterly devoid of charisma that he makes Martin look like Oliver Reed on crack, has a penchant for lecturing the rest of us about conserving energy with all the moral certitude of one of the new high priests of modern conservationism. They aren't the worst offenders. And while people can bang on about the environment as much as they like, they are effectively harmless irritants.
But it becomes even more infuriating when they decide to get involved in real life political issues. This was captured perfectly during the luvvie-fest that were the anti-Israel marches during the incursion into Gaza.
Happy to take the stage alongside zealots like George Galloway, Annie Lennox addressed a large crowd in London and tearfully denounced Israel for targeting a Palestinian school.
As it happened, the story about the Israelis supposedly deliberately targeting a school did the country immeasurable damage internationally and if it had actually happened it would have been a despicable action by them.
As we quickly learned, however, 40 people were not killed in a deliberate shelling of the school -- no shells landed in the school at all. Instead, 12 people were killed outside the building by IDF gunfire and nine of those had been involved in a straight fire-fight against the Israelis. Strangely, Lennox and her ilk became uncharacteristic silent on the issue when the actual facts emerged.
Indeed, for some strange reason, the Middle East seems to bring out the crazy in many celebrities. After all, who can forget the gloriously daft sight of Richard Gere urging the Palestinian population to vote in the last election?
"I'm Richard Gere, and I'm speaking for the whole world," the actor loftily proclaimed in a statement exhorting people to get out and vote. Now, regardless of where you stand on the Palestinian/Israeli situation, I'm sure we can all agree that the Palestinians have been through enough over the last few years without being lectured by a bloke most famous for having an on-screen affair with a prostitute and rumours of an interesting way of treating small animals.
Even more bizarrely, the increasingly bonkers Sharon Stone got her two cents worth when she informed the world that "I would kiss anyone to bring peace to the Middle East".
Well, at least that will break the tension at the next Middle East summit, when both Israeli and Palestinian negotiators fight with each other to see who gets to kiss her: "Seriously dude, I'm not kissing her, she's barking bloody mad."
"Look man, she freaks us out. If one of you guys kiss her, we'll give you back the settlements.
"And if you feel her up, we'll throw in the Golan Heights for good measure."
"Sorry, not good enough."
And then there's our own Statler and Waldorf of the world of celebutard campaigning: the two 'B's -- Bono and Bob.
Having never met a microphone they didn't like, the pair of them make their merry way around the world telling other people how to live.
Forget about the fact that Geldof's Live Aid has since been discovered to have done more harm than good and a lot of the money raised simply went into Ethiopian despot Mengistu's pocket, Geldof still thinks untrammelled, unsupervised aid is the best way to go forward and while he has lately started to cave in slightly in the face of mounting public criticism of his stance, it's hard to escape the impression that for every bag of grain purchased, another Merc is added to some dictator's garage.
Although to point out that Africa should be left to its own devices to sink or swing on its own is, of course, terribly racist. Even if it is also correct.
And, as we watch this week the streets of London burn as those happy anarchists do their level best to drag us all back to the Middle Ages, who can forget Bono's performance in Genoa a few years back?
Who can forget the sight of Bono being used as a useful idiot by the likes of Vladimir Putin for photo ops while Italian riot police clubbed and murdered protesters on the streets below?
When asked why he was appearing alongside Putin while young protesters -- many of them U2 fans -- were getting battered, he replied smugly, "violence never solved anything", a sentiment which might make perfect sense when you're a millionaire rock star with your head up your hole, but hardly stands up to any scrutiny. After all, the Second World War was hardly solved through measured diplomacy.
So if there's one lesson we can all learn it is this -- make up your own mind and stop listening to the views of some pampered idiot who thinks that because they make music/ movies/programmes that people like, that they should also tell us what to think.