Monday 27 May 2019

Someone save us from senators

Senator Catherine Noone
Senator Catherine Noone

You can say what you like about the recent abortion referendum, but at least it was real politics.

It was a genuinely important social issue, a festering boil on Irish life which needed to be lanced once and for all, for one way or the other.

It was a chance for politicians to nail their colours to the mast and make a stand, which as we all know is not something which comes naturally to half the Dáil.

It was important, it was real and it was a proper issue.

But now we're back to normal service - which, in Fine Gael's case, apparently means wagging their fingers at us once more.

Catherine Noone (above), reigning Nanny Of The Year, was, prior to the referendum, best known for telling people they shouldn't be doing the things they like doing.

From ice cream vans using loud music to - shock! - entice children into buying a 99, to pursing her lips in disapproval at smokers, people eating fatty foods and generally doing her best to become the Nation's Mammy, she can find some way to frown at everything.

Now that she has finished with the referendum campaign, she has obviously gone back to her safe space and has turned her matriarchal attention towards Temple Bar and the horrifying vista of lap-dancing clubs and the way they might corrupt our most precious natural resource, children.

According to Noone: "If people want to find lap-dancing clubs I'm sure they can search for them online, we don't need sordid signs in family areas. This needs to stop. Immediately. We need to set a good example to our young people. What kind of messages are they sending to young girls?"

Of course, Temple Bar is not a 'family area', it's a tourist trap and if she actually came from Dublin she might have known that. But she doesn't, so she didn't.

Then another of her Fine Gael senator colleagues, Neale Richmond, came out and demanded that kids' teams should ensure that every child gets to play at least half a game.

In one fell swoop, Richmond would remove the basis of sport - the best get picked, and if you want to play you have to be good enough.

Sport is the last area of meritocracy in our society, and remains immune to the social engineering madness that afflicts other parts of life.

The thing is - kids already know that. They know that getting picked is an achievement and they also know when they're being patronised. What's the point in doing your best if you're replaced at half time by someone who isn't as good?

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