Ian O'Doherty: Ve haf vays of making you think
Let's be honest, the Germans were responsible for causing quite a bit of hassle in the 20th century -- you may have heard.
You know, the whole war thing, and the Holocaust and generally being . . . well, bastards, basically.
In fairness to them, however, they have made special efforts to try to make things up to the rest of the world.
Indeed, the Nazi regime was a textbook example of what happens when you allow an authoritarian regime to mould the minds of the young and impressionable so they no longer realise what they are doing is wrong -- it's social engineering at its most destructive.
So kudos to the German authorities for the way they have tried to make amends for the sins of their fathers -- although it looks like they might not have learned a whole hell of a lot.
And the reason?
Well, they have now announced that in the future, the children of German neo-Nazis will be taken from their parents and put into care.
Worried about the idea of German kids being indoctrinated into fascism, one child welfare expert, Gunther Hoffman, advocates the kids being put into foster care, saying: "If ideological influence reaches such proportions that it can threaten children's well being, then state and civic bodies have an obligation to look into the situation."
Hmm -- so they are planning on removing kids from parents whose views they don't like?
They tried that back in the 1940s -- it didn't work out too well then, either.
WELL, THAT SEEMS FAIR ...
I'm Ian and I have a confession to make -- I don't have an iPhone or an iPad. In fact, I don't have an iClue about any of these things and I am quite happy to stay that way.
Frankly, gadgets like that make me angry and confused and I wish they had never been invented.
Well, given the fact that I still weep when I think about the demise of vinyl records and still look on CDs as some sort of hideous interloper, it's probably no great surprise to learn that I am something of a technological Luddite -- I told someone the other day that I don't know how to text and they honestly looked at me like I was some sort of prehistoric caveman. Or worse, a culchie.
So I have a degree of sympathy for students at Shanghai University, who have been told by one professor that if they don't have an iPad for next semester then they might as well stay at home.
According to the economics professor: "I hope every student will go and purchase an iPad, because the iPad represents the most modern thinking and my students must like that. If you don't have the money to buy one, then you go and earn money. If you cannot earn the money then you are not suited to my course.
"Poverty or wealth does not reflect on your family background, rather it reflects on you and your ability."
Jesus -- you really wouldn't want that guy to be marking your test papers, would you?
UM, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
As someone who deeply, deeply loathes children -- really, I mean it; and remember, your kids aren't special or clever they're just irritating -- I don't really care what happens to them, but there's no doubt that the kids of today (I've always wanted to say that, it makes me feel like I'm all grown up) are being hypersexualised at way too early an age.
You only have to see stores that sell Playboy knickers for five-year-olds and padded out tops for toddlers to realise that there is something weird and horrible going on.
And now the latest example comes from Bolton, where there is a new class for seven-year-old girls -- in pole dancing.
Now, as you can imagine, some people are up in arms over the whole thing, but the organiser of the class, Jess Norris, says that anyone who objects is a weirdo, and adds: "There is nothing sexual about pole dancing."
Interestingly, she is also 'Miss Pole Dancer 2011.'
Her parents must be very proud.
THE CRIME ... OF BEING WHITE
The massacre in Norway shocked not just that fine nation, but the whole of Europe.
And, sadly, it has resulted in anyone who questions the validity of multiculturalism and untrammelled immigration being labelled a complete bigot who could go out and start blowing people away at any moment.
Indeed, the fact that English Defence League, rather than totally distancing themselves from Beivik, had the gall to say that this was simply a wake-up call and could happen in Britain at any moment was another example of their arrant stupidity and lack of understanding of the value of good PR.
One of the arguments the likes of the EDL and the BNP use is that the white working class have been completely disenfranchised and that the liberal media is out to get them.
So, is the liberal media out to get them?
Well, take this example from the ultimate example of the 'liberal media', Channel 4 News on Monday night.
While interviewing the Norwegian Home Secretary, Jon Snow posed the question: "Norwegian society is very white, do they have a problem with multiculturalism?"
Can you imagine Snow having a pop at Nigeria for being 'very black' or Saudi Arabia for being 'very Muslim'?
Nope, me neither.
OH DEAR -- HERE WE GO AGAIN
What happens when you squat illegally on someone else's land?
Well, if it's you or me, we get arrested and turfed off the property. If, on the other hand, you're a Traveller, then it's a whole different kettle of mackerel.
Take the case of Britain's largest illegal Traveller site at Dale Farm in Essex.
Four hundred Travellers have been squatting there since 2001 and they face a deadline of the end of August to finally bugger off.
But it looks like they could have a stay of eviction.
And the reason? Well, the operation has been delayed because the 100 officials involved in the planned operation have been sent on "a cultural awareness programme so that they are racially and cultural sensitive to the people they are dealing with."
Of course, it would be simpler to just go in with a load of power hoses and shower them out of the place, but then I guess that would be breaching their yooman rites, wouldn't it?