Ian O'Doherty: The best review ever?
So, have you been to Sex And The City 2 yet? Have you wallowed in the sight of four middle-aged trannys tarting themselves around the Middle East giving the Muslim world even more reason to hate America and everything that it stands for?
The film is rapidly becoming one of the most derided movies in a long time and it's nice to see that it looks like the franchise is finally dead.
But the film's defenders, silly women and stubborn gay lads who don't want to admit that their favourite show jumped the shark a long time ago, are fighting the kind of rearguard action not seen since the Germans tried to hold the Russians back at the edge of Berlin.
Anyone who criticises the movie is, according to its female defenders, a misogynist and, as far as its gay followers are concerned, if you're a touch nauseated by the gay stereotypes, then you're a homophobe.
But according to one review: "The women of Abu Dhabi remove their clothes to reveal -- this is not a joke -- the same hideous, disposable, criminally expensive shreds of clot and feathers that hang from Carrie et al's emaciated goblin shoulders. Muslim women: Under those craaaazy robes, they're just as vapid and obsessed with physical beauty and meaningless material concerns as us."
This is obviously incredibly sexist and the person must be sent for compulsory re-education immediately.
Except it was written for a Seattle newspaper by Lindy West, who is a woman, and features the pay-off line: "If this is what modern womanhood means then just give me a burka and stitch up all my holes."
THROW ANOTHER WIENER ON THE BARBIE
The Swiss have always seemed a rather odd bunch.
After all, when you live in a society as rigidly controlled and as obsessed with privacy as they do, you kinda get the impression that things are a lot different behind closed doors.
Or, in the case of one Swiss rambler, things are different in the great wide open.
The rambler also happens to be a naturist and insists that he has the right to go walkies in the nip.
He has been arrested and, after refusing to pay a fine, the case went to court where the judge heard that he "brazenly walked in front of a communal barbecue area where there were children."
Now, I'm all for people walking around in the nip, but nobody, I repeat nobody, should ever bring their Old Chap anywhere near a bloody barbecue.
Have you ever seen one of those babies spit when the searing heat combines with the fat of the meat?
Honestly, it could have your eye out. Rather charmingly, the court has refused to name him, citing the man's 'privacy' as the reason.
Methinks privacy is not an overriding principle in this guy's life.
QUITE RIGHT TOO ...
The Indonesian region of Aceh is still desperately trying to recover from the carnage created by the tsunami in 2004.
So it's nice to see that they know where their priorities are.
Authorities in the region have decided that the most important thing they can do right now is ban women from wearing jeans.
Yup, according to one local leader: "Women should not wear jeans because it shows their body and they are imitating men."
Authorities have issued specially constructed long skirts for women to wear instead and have warned traders they will lose their license if they sell jeans to women.
Nice to see one of the greatest humanitarian catastrophes of all time hasn't stopped the lads from getting their knickers in a twist over a chick in a pair of Levis.