Ian O'Doherty: Stay away, stay far away
You know what? I feel this column has a duty of care towards its readers. After all, if the emails I receive on a daily basis are anything to go by, I seem to have a loyal following.
Sure, they cover up this affection and respect by being as abusive as humanly possible and many of the missives that come in have a tendency towards strange and terrible frankly anatomical impossible suggestions for me to do to myself, but I can tell it's all made in jest.
Otherwise I'm going to have to leave the country.