Monday 9 December 2019

Ian O'Doherty: Okay -- sign me up!

I remember being invited to appear on a panel for a debate about whether the Irish media was "hideously white".

That particular phrase was originally coined by former BBC Director General Greg Dyke.

Dyke, you may remember, complained that the staff at the BBC were overwhelmingly white, despite the fact that the corporation had a higher than average number of ethnic employees due to its policy of positive discrimination -- in itself an inherently racist construct.

I pointed out at the time that nobody would ever ask the question of whether, for instance, the Nigerian media was "hideously black" and that was, with dreary predictability, shouted down as racist by the idiots debating against me.

But it seems the lessons still have not been learned.

According to academic Peadar Kirby, the Irish media needs to start being nicer to ethnic minorities and that negative stereotypes of foreigners is a result of a move "to a more profit-oriented media".

What?

A media organisation that wants to turn a profit?

Those bastards, how dare they!

Meanwhile, another academic has demanded that media organisations should be obliged to appoint a 'diversity champion'.

So, I'd like to be the first person to volunteer to be the Indo's diversity champion.

But no boggers or Scousers will be accommodated.

Aw bless -- he's frightened

If he wasn't such a jerk he would be amusing because, let's be honest, he is more like something from Chris Morris's Four Lions than yer average jihadist.

Yup, I am of course talking about Abu Hamza (pictured), the hook-handed hate cleric who has become a rather cartoonish figure.

Hamza has gone on record calling for the deaths of Jews, gays and the rest of us infidels, all the while surviving on the ridiculously generous British social welfare system.

Indeed, it is telling that it seems all of the Muslim immigrants calling for the destruction of the Western imperialist system are quite happy to take the handouts.

But now it appears that poor old Abu has a new problem -- he has been forced to change his name by deed poll from Abu Hamza to Mustafa Kamal Mustafa.

This is because he feels that he has been demonised by the kuffar pig dogs in the English press and they have so besmirched his good name that he must now go under a different moniker.

There's just one slight problem with his new approach towards anonymity.

And have you guessed what it is yet?

Yup, that's right -- he has a bloody hook instead of a hand.

I think that might be something of a giveaway when it comes to ascertaining his identity, don't you?

This is bloody outrageous!

As a renowned and tireless campaigner for equality and justice for all, please allow me to comment on the outrageous dismissal of New Jersey woman Lauren Odes, who has been the victim of a most outrageous injustice.

Ms Odes has been sacked from her job and is currently entering into litigation claiming that she has been unfairly dismissed.

And the reason?

Was she lazy? Did she have a habit of taking too many sickies? Was she simply not good enough?

Nay, nay and thrice nay.

No, she was fired because she was . . . too busty and had a habit of wearing what her employers referred to as "provocative clothing".

Her boss insisted that she wore a jumper, which she duly did, but that wasn't enough to stop her being dismissed.

Have we really come to this?

Have we reached a stage where a woman can be discriminated against simply because she has an awesome rack?

I, for one, will not stand for such blatant prejudice against big-boobed women; frankly, I think it's outrageous.

But there is one further twist to the tale -- she was working for a firm that makes sexy lingerie.

Now, who says the Yanks don't get irony?

Don't forget to close the door on your way out

Didier Drogba (pictured) has always been a bit of an enigma.

On the one hand, he is (to use the footballing cliché) 'unplayable' when he's on his game and not sulking.

On the other hand, for such a massive bloke he has that incredibly irritating tendency to fall to the ground like he has just been shot any time someone even looks at him the wrong way.

Now he is leaving Chelsea because he wants "a new adventure".

"I don't want to go to Europe because there is nothing new I can learn there, I want a new challenge."

So he's off to China for this new adventure.

The fact that he is on a quarter of a million a week obviously has nothing to do with it.

Damn! They're clever

Is there any end to the levels of deceit the evil Zionists will get up to?

Villagers in Turkey went to the cops after they found a migratory bird -- which they assumed was actually an Israeli spy.

This was because the bird had a tag marked 'Israel' on it.

Honestly, first they train sharks to attack people in Egyptian waters to ruin their tourist industry and now they're training birds to spy on Turkish villagers?

But as I pointed out to my Mossad paymaster the other day, if they're going to train birds to act as spies, then they should always remember to remove the tag saying where the bird comes from.

Irish Independent

Today's news headlines, directly to your inbox every morning.

Don't Miss