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Ian O'Doherty: Oh dear -- here we go again

The cynicism of the American Left in the wake of the Gabrielle Giffords shooting (I was quite rightly taken to task by a reader earlier this week for referring to her in the past tense, sorry about that) continues to be truly breathtaking.

In the immediate aftermath of the attack, the finger was immediately pointed at an unholy trinity of American talk radio, Sarah Palin and the lunatic fringe of the Tea Party as responsible for driving Loughner to do what he did.

When it quickly became clear that her assailant was simply a mentaller who was always going to do something crazy and he hadn't even voted in the last election, you might have thought that the people who were so quick to cast aspersions would have put their hands up and said sorry. And you would be wrong.

In fact, one Democratic Congressman made the interesting point that: "Whether political rhetoric caused what happened in Tucson or not, it will cause the next tragedy."

Meanwhile, the reliably nuts Whoopi Goldberg still insisted that even though she knew the likes of Bill O'Reilly weren't in any way responsible, they were still . . . responsible: "When I was growing up, people talking and saying things, whipping folks up, caused a lot of people to get lynched."

So now Fox News is responsible for getting people lynched?

It all reminds me of South Park creator Matt Stone's great line: "I hate Conservatives. But I really f***ing hate Liberals."

Oh, the pressures of stardom

Who would want to be famous?

After all, just think about it -- people you don't know want to follow your every move; the paps are constantly following you; you have no private time and, for the seriously famous, the real A-Listers, there's also the constant worry of stalkers.

Just take the case of Noirin Kelly, who was in the Herald yesterday telling us how she now fears for her life because she has picked up a stalker.

Someone has apparently been impersonating Kelly on Twitter, and she breathlessly spoke of how: "I don't mind fan sites, but this isn't one of them. The person started sending some inappropriate messages to my friends and is also posting pictures of me at events so they are obviously following me to stuff -- it's getting quite scary. I think they are getting the information from my Facebook page which is quite open so my fans can see what I'm up to."

Well, if she's putting all that shite up on Facebook so her fans can see her, the stalker hardly needs to follow her.

But this tragic tale begs one question -- who in the name of Buddha is Noirin Kelly and why would she have any 'fans'?

(Apparently she was one of those eejits in Big Brother a few years back -ed.)

Dear boss -- can i snog my colleagues?

Office affairs are a Very Bad Thing.

They cause dissent, jealousy, envy and should be banned outright.

And I know what I'm talking about because I've tried to start an affair with every female colleague I've ever had and have been shot down by all of them. And if I can't have it, buddy, then neither can you.

Even so, I was rather surprised to see a new rule handed down by a council in Cambridgeshire this week.

Their Human Resources manager has decided that any staff planning on a bit of hanky panky must first write a letter to HR informing them of their decision.

The memo states: "Any employee who embarks on a close personal relationship with a colleague must declare the relationship to his/her manager in writing. Any breach of this could be regarded as a disciplinary offence (potentially gross misconduct) leading to disciplinary action."

Ah yes -- gross misconduct, the best kind.

After all, if you're going to engage in misconduct with a colleague, you may as well make it as gross as you possibly can.

You can see where this is going to end up -- you'll be expected to ring up HR to get permission to ask some fine filly from your office out on a date and when she inevitably tells you leave her alone and says she'll call the cops if you ever look at her again (well, that's been my experience anyway) then the whole bloody HR office knows you've been shot down.

Talk about a public walk of shame . . .

Jim Davidson vs the Geneva Convention

Lets' be honest, Jim Davidson is a uniter, not a divider -- in the sense that we're all united in the belief that he is an obnoxious, racist, sexist, homophobic jerk.

He wasn't funny during his pomp in the 1970s and ever since then he has become increasingly bitter and angry at the fact that he is the entertainment equivalent of Millwall -- nobody likes him. Although unlike the Millwall fans, he does care.

Having infuriated telly viewers a few years back when he spent most of his time bullying Brian Dowling over being gay, he was finally consigned to the history books. Or so we thought.

Because it turns out someone has hired him to do a panto in Glasgow.

Now, you'd have to wonder about the kind of parent who would want to bring their kids to see this guy but there was a bit of a scandal earlier this week when the British Red Cross threatened to sue, saying that Davidson was in breach of the Geneva Convention.

The character he was playing was a nurse wearing a red cross and under the convention it is illegal for anyone to use that image.

So, Slobodan Milosevic, Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot and Jim Davidson have all been accused of breaching the Geneva Convention.

The other three must be spinning in their graves at being lumped in with him.

Ian Spied

Couch Potato

I don't spend much of my time watching TV3, to be honest.

But I'll be tuned in tonight when Ireland's Animal A&E returns. The first show promises to be fascinating -- they report on the growing problem of puppy farms in Ireland. Even better, they have rare footage of a raid on one of these hell holes where all the puppies are rescued.

A must for dog lovers -- 7.30pm, TV3.

Irish Independent