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Ian O'Doherty: Foreigners - stay away

Let's face it -- the election campaign still hasn't captured people's imagination.

Incredibly, apathy rather than a furious, murderous rage seems to be the prevailing mood of many people, who are simply too busy focusing on keeping their home to spend a lot of time listening to the chattering classes engage in political point scoring.

But there are still some moments of genuine hilarity.

And, not surprisingly, most of them have come from Sinn Fein/IRA.

This utterly discredited, economically illiterate and morally bankrupt shower of shysters have one redeeming feature in the fact they are comedy gold, such is the remarkably unaware nature of their statements.

We've seen their leader Gerry Adams make a complete eejit of himself on RTE and that now infamous LM/FM interview where he proved that he hadn't a bog's notion about the country's economy -- well, terrorists like Adams tend to be rather sketchy on the minutiae. And then, yesterday, he came out to oppose the visit of the Queen of England to this country.

It's widely expected that Betty will visit these shores in the summer, but Adams is against it because, as he says in dreary drone: "There are hugely unresolved matters in terms of the British still claiming jurisdiction even though in terms of the Good Friday Agreement they have moved away from the Government of Ireland Act."

So, Adams doesn't want a foreigner coming into this country?

Well, now he knows how we feel about him.

OKAY, THIS IS ONE LESSON ...

Micheál Martin has the look of the kind of person who, as a child, would rat the rest of the class out to the teacher.

His smug, pious, sanctimonious bullshit is really, truly, spectacularly annoying. And when you consider that the best thing you can say about him is that he is not the Weasel Ahern or the Drunk Cowen, then you see just how far Fianna Fail has sunk in the public's estimation.

But what has been really incredible is the self-righteous arrogance he showed after delivering their election manifesto.

With no discernable trace of irony, Martin said that Fianna Fail were going to push for Dail reform.

Given the fact that these bastards, who are responsible for dragging this country to its knees, have been controlling the Dail for the last 13 years you can see that this is an act of spectacular hypocrisy.

Not at all, says Choirboy Martin, who then proceeded to lecture us that: "We need to learn the lessons of the past."

Well, there's one lesson we have all learned from the past, you pillock -- and that's the one that taught us not to vote for you.

FREE SPEECH -- BUT ONLY FOR SOME

David Cameron has proven to be something of a disappointment since he took office, but he finally grew a pair the other day when he admitted that multiculturalism doesn't work and was a failed experiment that was pushed through by the Left-wing zealots of New Labour.

These are the self-same zealots who so polluted the political and cultural landscape that anyone who honestly thought that unlimited immigration was bad, or that English people were more deserving of jobs and access to healthcare than someone who had just jumped off the back of a lorry in Dover were somehow inherently racist.

It was this kind of blanket intolerance and utter hatred of the indigenous white working class that drove so many of them in despair to the likes of the BNP and, more recently, the English Defence League.

So, what was the reaction to Cameron's admission? Well, same old, same old.

Labour MP Sadiq Khan was quick to cynically exploit his words, saying that: "Cameron has just written propaganda for the English Defence League."

It's the kind of rubbish that we've come to expect from people like Khan, but what was interesting was Khan's silence when the founder of the EDL, Stephen Lennon, was moved out of his house and placed under 24-hour police protection after receiving a number of credible death threats from Muslim extremists.

But that's okay -- Lennon is white and Right-wing, so anything that happens to him is his fault, right?

GET YOUR PASSPORT, LUV, WE'RE OFF

Talk about bad timing.

Nick Kelly of this parish saw an interesting ad on a bus the other day -- exhortations from the Egyptian tourist board trying to entice Irish tourists to the resort of Sharm al Sheikh.

Now, as you may have heard, there has been a slight bit of bother in Egypt of late what with, oh you know, millions of people rioting on the streets and attacking foreigners and all that kind of thing.

So it would take an intrepid traveller to head off in Egypt's direction.

And as for the Red Sea resort of Sharm al Sheikh?

Sure if the rioting Egyptians don't get you that bloody Jewish shark that has been eating tourists probably will.

AHA! BUSTED

Bill O'Reilly interviewed Obama just before the Super Bowl and got roundly hammered by both sides of the partisan fence -- the liberal left thought he was too hard on the President, while the Tea Party brigade thought he went too easy.

But one of the more interesting things was that Nancy Pelosi came out and slammed O'Reilly for asking Obama how felt about people "hating" him.

This, said Pelosi, was a disgrace and she claimed that the Fox host would never have dreamed of asking Bush something so impertinent.

O'Reilly's response on telly the other night? He promptly ran archive footage of himself asking then President Bush what it felt like to have so many people hate him.

O'Reilly 1, Pelosi Nil.

DVD TIME

It's 1976 and it's the last day of High School and . . . that's it really, in Richard Linklater's cult classic, Dazed And Confused (1993), which sees an all-star cast playing a bunch of stoners who are just happy to be leaving school.

Matthew McConaughey is hilarious as the older guy who can't get past his own High School years and the whole thing is just a slacker's ultimate movie.

Sample quote: "Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place."

Irish Independent