Ian O'Doherty: First Janice, then Jimi, then Jim . . . now Justin?
Right, here's a few things that I should be, but I'm not. I should be pursing my lips and loudly tut-tutting – which is remarkably difficult, you should try it sometime – but I'm not.
I should be wringing my hands together and issuing a plaintive 800 words or so. But I'm not.
I should be warning his army of fans that his behaviour isn't big and it isn't clever and he's impressing nobody. But I'm not.