Monday 9 December 2019

Ian O'Doherty: A slight overreaction, perhaps?

It says a lot about this country that one of our most prominent and outspoken politicians is none other than Luke 'Ming' Flanagan, a self-confessed stoner.

Now, don't get me wrong, being one myself I have nothing against stoners. But when a politician's main claim to fame is that he likes to spark up the occasional spliff, then you could be forgiven for thinking that we need people of a higher calibre.

But it's not just weed he has an interest in -- he is also obsessed with bogs.

As you probably know, even if you don't really care very much, a ban has been introduced on cutting turf in certain bogs.

Now, as someone who hails from the city, I don't know the ins and outs of the whole story, but I would be instinctively inclined to rail against any ban on something that has been carried out for generations.

So I initially had some sympathy with Flanagan's opposition to the ban.

But he really took it to ridiculous levels during a Dáil debate on the issue with Alan Shatter last week.

According to Flanagan, imposing the ban is akin to 'Nazi Germany' and he added: "They had laws in Nazi Germany too, but thank God some people broke them."

Shatter, quite rightly, was furious with the spurious comparison and pointed out that: "If he thinks there is any comparison between . . . bogs and the deaths of six million in the Holocaust, perhaps the deputy will examine his conscience," before Flanagan once again maintained that "we're heading in the direction of Nazi Germany".

So, let's square things up, shall we? Six million dead in the Holocaust, a total of 50 million deaths in the war in total and the complete destruction of Europe and . . . a bunch of pissed-off culchies who can no longer cut their own turf.

Yup, I think Flanagan definitely has a point.

Well, what did they expect?

I must admit to being being rather baffled -- well, I'm rather baffled by lots of things, to be honest -- about the popularity of Dubai with British and Irish people.

It is, after all, a strict Islamic state and while they turn a blind eye to Westerners drinking away from the locals, if reports are to be believed, those very locals absolutely despise the visitors.

And, to be honest, you can't blame them as each week seems to see a new story about drunken excess from the ex-pats

The latest one, however, is an absolute cracker.

An Irishman, Conor McRedmond, and English woman Becky Blake -- who, in typical tabloid fashion is referred to as 'Busty Becky' -- have been arrested after a taxi driver alleged that the pair of them had sex in the back of his car.

It should be pointed out that the pair of them deny the charge, but the authorities remain unconvinced and they both face a possible three-year prison sentence in one of Dubai's notorious jails.

Interestingly, Ms Blake says that: "I came over here to sort my life out -- clearly it didn't work."

Well, given the fact that she is looking at jail time for having sex in public, I think that may very well qualify as understatement of the year.

It's their yooman rites, innit?

It hasn't even started yet and already it looks like the Olympics could prove to be an unmitigated disaster.

There is already traffic chaos, increasing resentment from your average Londoner who will have fewer rights in his own city than visiting Olympic dignitaries and then you have . . . the gypsy issue.

Romanian gypsies have been descending on the city in advance of the games so they can engage in their traditional cultural practice -- thieving and begging.

A bunch of them have started a squatting camp in leafy Park Lane where the average house will set you back a cool five million smackers.

Residents are complaining that the 50 or so gypsies are begging, stealing, starting fights and are openly defecating in full view of passing children, which sounds lovely.

So, are they even a little bit ashamed of their actions?

Well, not quite.

As one recently arrived gypsy woman told the media: "The English are pigs. We want homes here. We have rights."

Yup -- you have the right to be expelled from the country.

I was going to suggest that they should just send in the cops, round them all up, crack a few heads and put them on the next plane back to Bucharest, but that would probably be considered racist.

So I will say instead -- just send in the cops, crack a few heads and send them all back on the next plane to Bucharest.

Well, I was shocked, shocked I was

I've been to some pretty wild events in my time, I can tell you.

Oh yes, some of the things I have witnessed would make your hair curl.

But few things compared to last Thursday night when I attended the launch of Ireland: The Dawning Of The Day, a compilation of memoirs, stories and poems made by the Terenure Active IT Society.

It has been published to raise funds for an outreach programme for older people in the area but despite the fact that it's for a good cause I was taken aback by the debauchery and Diva-like behaviour I witnessed that night.

And that was just from my father-in-law, who wrote a piece for the book.

On sale now in all etc etc.

I suppose a congratulations is in order

Indo rock hack John Meagher and his wife Lynn had a baby, Emani, the other day.

The doctors have declared mother and daughter to be fine, although one medic confided that: "Mr Meagher has an incurable case of culchiness.

"If he doesn't see two hurling games and a Saw Doctors gig at least once a week he starts to get cranky and his accent becomes even more impenetrable than it already is.

"It's all quite tragic, to be honest. But at least his daughter will grow up in Dublin so she already has a better start in life than her father."

Irish Independent

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