Tense words in the FG bunker as Herr Kenny foresees his downfall
Generalissimo Enda Kenny paced forwards and backwards as he surveyed his war cabinet, deep in the bowels of the Fine Gael bunker. "The news from the front is not good. Not good at all," he told his assembled heavies.
"Whoever thought up that bloody slogan - 'keep the recovery going' - needs to think again and fast," he warned.
"I was told the slogan was going to be our Panzer Division. But it's become a boring cliché, bogged down in a sea of apathy, by all those plebs out there who don't give a hoot one way or the other.''