You can't make it up. Unless you're Enda
Why in the world, Gene Kerrigan asks, would the State be upset about getting a €19bn windfall?
Later, we'll bring you the most extraordinary sentence published in an Irish newspaper in 2015. Yes, there are seven months left in the year, but it's unlikely that a more startling sentence will be published in any Irish newspaper, at any time, ever.
First - how come Enda Kenny is doing so well in the polls? Mr Austerity, Mr Irish Water, the man who in 2011 said that if we elected him, "I'll end the scandal of patients on trolleys", is doing very, very well indeed, thank you.
(Unlike the patients on the trolleys.)