Wednesday 13 December 2017

Gene Kerrigan: Is your toilet half-empty, or half-full?

If the gamblers refuse to accept their losses, soon we won't have a pot to pee in, writes Gene Kerrigan

Let's explore the toilet arrangements of Mr Brendan Howlin TD. Mr Howlin is the Minister for Frowning Sternly at Waste of Public Money. The minister wakes up thinking of costs he must chop, he nods off to sleep muttering about spending he might slash. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. A bit like this column -- who else will take on the job of peering closely at Mr Howlin's toilet arrangements?

It's been a momentous week, with workers fighting back against despicable treatment and the euro inching closer to the edge. There's been a sudden lurch away from the economic fashion for austerity. But Mr Howlin's toilet arrangements must take priority with us. In fact, Mr Howlin's toilet arrangements are pertinent to these matters.

Some time ago, word went around that Mr Howlin had spent €47 on a toilet seat for his ministerial office. The usual suspects sneered at this supposed extravagance by Mr Austerity. In fact, the toilet seat story was a lie. The evidence is that Mr Howlin spent €47 of our money on getting a key cut for his personal toilet.

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