In a timely circumstance last week, I found myself sharing a cafeteria table with a bunch of students the same day UCC announced its "three strikes and you're out" policy toward bad behaviour on campus.
A mix of first and second years, the group seemed a perfect rendering of those college "glory years" - ie, when the library takes a distant third place to the pub and the club.
So nobody's going to take a blind bit of notice of these new rules, I ventured.
"I actually think it's a good thing, the campus can be too aggressive and hostile sometimes," replied a first-year girl - and everybody nodded in agreement. But what about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, says I, listing those essential rites of passage for third level.
"Oh please, drugs are a waste of space, I prefer Strauss, and there's no way I'm looking for intimacy anywhere around the campus grunge zone," said the wise-beyond-her-years 20-year-old. Ah c'mon now, I gasped, you lot practically invented Tinder and Grindr, don't tell me no-one's 'doing it'?
The table as one regarded me with those sad, disappointed stares the young reserve for the utter ignorance of the ancients. "Dating apps, bootie calls, midnight hook-ups?" said the guy with the Axl Rose hair. "That is so yesterday, man. Anyway, those kind of meeting machines are really for, like, old people, the over-35s and such."
According to the 2014 National Student Survey conducted by Campus.ie, 21pc indicated they were not sexually active, with 22pc saying they had only one sexual partner - a snapshot that loosely conforms to the bigger global picture. According to the US General Social Survey, males between 18 and 29 are having less sex than ever, with the number of abstinent men tripling from 10pc in 2008 to almost 30pc in 2018.
In a 2018 'Atlantic' magazine feature entitled 'The Sex Recession', Kate Julian noted just how much attitudes to the oldest activity have changed. "In the space of a generation, sex has gone from something most high-school students have experienced to something most haven't. People in their early 20s are two-and-a-half times as likely to be abstinent as Gen-Xers were."
So, OK, if hanky panky is out, what's everybody doing for the weekend? Any protest marches, political riots or tequila slamming contests? "Ah, no, we're doing a Carrauntoohil climb for the homeless," said the fit-looking pair.
"We're working on developing our app to help the elderly communicate better," the techie types informed. "And we are actually going a bit mad, taking a dozen under-12s to the Burren on a field trip," said the last duo sheepishly.
Honestly, kids today - what are ye like?
Let's be grateful voters hold the whip hand here
Face it, you're not going to be happy this morning. No matter which way you voted, chances are the outcome of Election 2020 will be a disappointment - as these things always are.
Whoever observed "you get the government you deserve" surely said a mouthful. But then, things could be worse. Much worse.
Indonesia, a country of 250 million where 90pc are Muslim, has just recruited a squad of 'women floggers' to mete out punishment to fellow females convicted of crimes under Sharia law. Up to now, such public beatings with a rattan cane were administered exclusively by men for offences including homosexuality, drinking alcohol, close proximity to a member of the opposite sex and the wearing of tight clothing.
"We make sure they're physically fit and train them how to do a proper whipping," explained the local police chief. "It's an indoctrination to have no mercy for those who violate God's law." Well, that's alright then.