Opinion Columnists

Tuesday 21 January 2020

Garreth Murphy: A child's name shouldn't be domain friendly

A child's name shouldn't be domain friendly
A child's name shouldn't be domain friendly

My wife just had a baby. A baby boy.

Because we are not Premiership footballers nor wannabe celebs, my wife and I decided to err on the side of caution when it came to naming the kid and hand him a solid, unspectacular name.

We went for ‘James’ as a family tribute and we thought it would get him through life with the minimum amount of fuss.

We decided early doors that new fangled names like ‘Troy’ or ‘Hunter’ or ‘Koa’ are the only provocations some kids need to start administering wedgies in the playground. 

How wrong we were.

For it seems that the latest internet craze is to bequeath children with names that are ‘domain-friendly’.

Yes, you read that right – domain-friendly.

Awesome Baby Name is a new website and online tool that helps parents choose a name for their child based on website domain availability.

The website was started off as a joke by Karen Cheng. The Californian dancer was so annoyed that her common first name meant that she’d never get to own the domain karencheng.com

Cheung joked to her business partner that “she would ensure the domain name is available before naming her future child so they can avoid these issues.”

Thus, the website was born. And on the day it debuted, some 6,000 people clicked on it to get name to presumably check the domain availability for their kids.

After the first ten names are handed out for free, the tool asks you for 100 more, at a cost of $3.

Naming your child for domain rights in the future smacks of borderline obsession. If your child turns out to be a Gordon ‘Lunch-is-for-wimps’ Geeko-style fool, you’ve only got yourself to blame. And you probably shouldn’t be trusted to have kids in the first place. 

But what do I know? In years to come, in first signs of rebellion, my son might start pronouncing his name in the same way as George Hamilton delighted in calling Columbia star James Rodriguez at the World Cup. HAHM-ez. HAHM-ez Murphy.

Has quite the ring to it.

Irish Independent

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