Sunday 17 December 2017

Breakfast Roll Man is in need of a second chance

Today, Breakfast Roll Man is looking at his ghost estate. Not one sold. The three auctioneers don't return his calls. Nothing is working

A bewildered Breakfast Roll Man can't quite believe his eyes. It's like watching Paul McShane at right full for Ireland; he's got to pinch himself and ask how it happened. How did the banks pull the rug from under his development in Kells? Two years ago when he paid (admittedly, a fair whack) for the site, they told him they would stand behind him. He remembered that little twerp from the bank's head office with the shiny suit and buckets of gel in his 'fin' haircut.

In 'fin boy' strolled to give Breakfast Roll Man the spiel about how the demographics of the country were excellent and how the Irish fundamentals were sound. He laughed as he described County Meath as Ireland's 'baby belt', where young children outnumber the elderly four to one. He chummily patted Breakfast Roll Man's shoulder and forecast that 'they' would be able to sell the houses, no bother.

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