Friday 21 September 2018

We are all foreigners now

Seagulls fight over scraps in Howth, Dublin
Photo: PA
Seagulls fight over scraps in Howth, Dublin Photo: PA
Brendan O'Connor

Brendan O'Connor

Thursday morning had a chilling effect. Suddenly the sun wasn't there. Was such a thing possible? Surely some mistake. The national mood dropped faster than a Dublin reservoir. We reassured each other it was coming back. But it did make us realise one thing, something we had managed to put to the backs of our minds. THIS IS GOING TO END.

And that is something we just can't accept. We like this new nation we have become. Sure, we can't wash our cars or water our gardens. But it's a small price to pay for the fact that we have basically become foreigners, we like each other and ourselves a little bit more and we don't need to go on holidays anymore. In fact, right now, we feel sorry for people who are going on holidays. And they, in turn, feel foolish for having booked a holiday, because of course, they should have known that this was going to happen.

The weather is having all kinds of knock-on effects on everything. The nudists were out last week looking for more nudist beaches. And well they might. Because if this keeps up, we will all be nudists soon. Clothes have become a hindrance at this stage, and now that we all look like foreigners and have a tan, real or fake, we're dying to show off our booties. The Irish beaches look like beaches in another country. Women are actually in bikinis, as against fleeces.

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