Saturday 7 December 2019

Was that all really necessary?

Brendan O'Connor
Brendan O'Connor
Brendan O'Connor

Brendan O'Connor

Well, thank God that's all over. Common sense (which in Ireland is code for a woman, which in this Government is code for Joan), seems to have prevailed, and the water boil has been lanced in one go.

It will now be simple, as all taxes should be - €76 if you're on your own and €178 if you're not. And while people will bitch and moan about the guy with 10 kids paying the same as the people with two kids, the guy with 10 kids could probably do with a break anyway.

Obviously we will, at some point, have to get back to what was supposed to be one of the central points of all this, which is to encourage people to use less water. But for God's sake let's not worry about that now. For now the war is over, so let's just get out of the trenches for a while and try and enjoy Christmas.

You have to wonder if it was all really necessary. Anyone could have told the Government it was this simple all the time. Just give a bit of certainty and make it reasonably affordable.

But they have this knack of complicating everything. You'd wonder if it's to make themselves look important and busy. So they let it drag on for weeks and weeks and they unleashed forces that may prove difficult to put back in the box.

Dublin got a second posh lefty TD out of it all, as voters who would never dream of letting Trots run the country flock to protest candidates. Sinn Fein soared in the polls, despite their whole fiction lying in tatters around their feet.

Enda Kenny, who encouraged everyone to call him, found they were calling him - but with threats.

Water workers trying to do their jobs, however unpopular that job, were trapped in their vans and had guns pulled on them. Jopan was surrounded and trapped in her car.

Eirigi and other lunatic fringe groups found a populist issue around which to rally.

There was a gradual sense of chaos developing. And the Government seemed incapable of responding.

Worse again, when Joan did offer the obvious, simple solution in the Dail nearly two weeks ago, they didn't even recognise her genius and they left her hanging.

Admittedly though, it was colourful at times, this outbreak of madness. And at least it gave us all a chance to vent the anger we largely kept in check for the last five years.

And it gave us sideshows like I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, where people who are desperate for some positive news coverage are willing to go and live in the Dail Chamber without any home comforts for up to four hours, surrounded by creepy crawlies like Gerry Adams's twitter persona and with the threat of having to swallow unpalatable horrors, like the history of their own party.

So for now then, we can put the great Water Wars of 2014 behind us, and maybe focus again on what the Government would like us to focus on - economic recovery.

Hell, why don't we all build a shopping centre with some apartments over it in a small country town?

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