Monday 25 March 2019

The seven stages of Irish reaction to good weather

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Brendan O'Connor

Brendan O'Connor

We've almost come to the end of the various stages of our reaction to weather. First is shock (it's actually going to be nice? At the actual weekend?) Then denial (It'll never happen. They never get the forecast right.)

Then guilt (Is it a bit early to be sitting out drinking this beer? Should I bring the children to the beach or something?) And then anger (I can't believe I'm stuck in work), bargaining (I don't feel well today. Is it OK if I 'work from home'?) Then acceptance (The weather is nice again. It's going to be nice for the whole summer.

This is what it was like when I was a kid. This is our natural climate. The last few decades were an anomaly). And then the uniquely Irish stage - moaning (it's too hot. I can't do a thing in this heat. We need a bit of rain to clear the air, and for the crops. I wish everyone would put on some clothes and put away the flesh. Damn this weather, I've booked a holiday abroad).

But that's just the way we are, isn't it? Even when we get what we think we want, we're never happy.

Look at the David Drumm trial. For years now we have bitched and moaned about how we and our children and our children's children's children will still be paying for the bank bailout, and not one of those people ever went to jail or was punished for what they did to the country. And then Drummer gets convicted, not exactly for ruining the country but for related matters. And did we get any sense of satisfaction? Nah. We'd moved on. People were practically asking why we wasted all this time and money on his trial. Then again, back in Drummer's heyday, the cycle of outrage had a bit of longevity. We might actually moan about something for a period of months or even a year. Now if it happens on Monday, we've moved on by Wednesday.

We're not happy about the economy either. It's not that long ago that it was all grim news every time you opened the papers. Now things are generally fairly good for the time being, and all we can talk about is what is going to ruin everything this time. I mean, sure, let's be prudent. But if we spend the upturns obsessing about the downturns, then life will just feel like one long downturn. But then again. We kind of like it like that. Gives us something to moan about.

And then of course there's Brexit. Basically, last week Brexit moved much further away from ever happening. And if it does happen, it looks as if Brexit won't mean Brexit. So are we out celebrating on the streets? No, we've decided to focus on taking the hump about Boris Johnson demeaning the importance of our border.

Of course, the good news is, the weather isn't set to last. Should be gone by midweek. Happy now?

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