Saturday 26 May 2018

The randy old goats of Ennis

Wild goats are causing trouble in Co Clare
Wild goats are causing trouble in Co Clare
Brendan O'Connor

Brendan O'Connor

The Silly Season saw the sun come out so it tried to make an appearance. We barely noticed it had happened until we found ourselves looking at goats in Ennis for an inordinate amount of the main evening news. The camera lingered on various shots of the goats walking around Ennis.

These goats looked hard as hell, and they didn't give a damn. These goats were afraid of no one. They strutted around like the last gang in town. Like Oasis in their heyday. The people of Ennis were at pains to say that they bore the goats no ill will, but they would like to find a suitable home for them. It has been agreed for the time being that road signs will be put up warning about the goats. But it is not resolved. Presumably on a slow news day later in the summer, there will be a follow up story about the goats finding a home. The goats are apparently "procreating like there's no tomorrow", which, presumably, if you're a goat, there isn't. Goats tend to live in the now.

Bizarrely, this wasn't the only silly season story last week about randy old goats wandering the streets of Ennis. We also learnt that a couple who were charging €250 an hour for sex, with both of them, at their home, were up in court last week and got a fine.

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