My tell-all book on life with Leo
Leo Varadkar never really wanted to be Taoiseach. In fact, friends say he looked as if he had seen a ghost (Enda Kenny) the night he was elected leader of Fine Gael. His partner was openly weeping, and not with joy. These are just some of the crazy claims I will be making in a new tell-all book about life inside Leo's Fine Gael. For the first months of the Varadkar regime, I enjoyed unprecedented access to Leo and his inner circle, though he denies ever having spoken to me and claims not to know who I am.
The book will also claim that the Taoiseach is in bed every evening at half six eating scrambled eggs and smashed avocado, obsessively watching three TVs to see what people are saying about him.
Insiders will claim in the book that Leo is obsessed with his sock collection and often demands time out from his schedule to curate his sock drawer. Those closest him say that when he is not watching TV, he scours the internet looking for new pairs of novelty socks.
Friends also say Leo likes to bring Simon Coveney into his office and get him to bitch about various backbenchers and ministers, while the backbencher or minister in question is listening on speakerphone. Leo told a friend: "One of the best things in life is getting Simon supporters to cheat with me."
Leo Varadkar has already hit back at the book, tweeting last night that "O'Connor is a loser. I am like, totally mentally stable, and like, really smart. Watch what happens to him and Sloppy Simon. Sad."
Some of the stuff in the book is almost too crazy to believe. For example, sources claim that Leo becomes easily bored in meetings and has been known to start fiddling with his phone in the middle of discussing government formation.
Even more unbelievable is that one source claims that when Leo went to Downing Street, he started gushing about the rom-com Love Actually, embarrassing everyone. "There was something childlike about him," said a source.
The book will also reveal that Leo is obsessed with Twitter and social media. Another sensational and unbelievable claim is that Leo once insisted on tweeting a picture of himself "packing" a dishwasher by putting a spoon in it.
Other unbelievable claims are that the Taoiseach sometimes compares novelty socks with world leaders and other people he meets, and has been known to tweet pictures of his socks. Also, sources also say he actually retweeted a tweet from Santa Claus at Christmas.
Many of you will not believe some of these claims and I'm sure they will be denied, but I stand over at least some of this stuff. You will get the whole gist of the book in the papers, but please buy it anyway.