Saturday 21 April 2018

Mid-life crisis: Childless and hitting rock-bottom

Children make summer extra special
Children make summer extra special

I am childless this week. Womanless too. Girlless. The three of them are gone and I am alone, which can very quickly turn into a lunatic man chasing flies around the kitchen. It did in fact. We imagine there are more flies that usual in my neck of the woods right now. People are blaming the incinerator. It sounds like the people in the incinerator said initially that the plague of flies around D4 were nothing to do with them, but then it emerged that the incinerator had in fact had the exterminators in, because of flies.

People love to say the phrase 'this wouldn't happen in Dublin 4'. Like recently, when the people around Croke Park were talking about demonstrating before concerts about the brothels in their area, they said: "This wouldn't happen in Dublin 4." They have a point. Things are not the same in Dublin 4 as they are up and around Croke Park. People in Dublin 4 are generally too posh to give out about matches and crowds for one thing. I haven't noticed myself being bought off recently for having to put up with first Robbie Williams and then Phil Collins polluting the night air around my place.

Anyway, the point is, this is happening in Dublin 4, the fly plague. And the incinerator, which is perfectly safe but which has already, even though it's barely open, caused a number of people to be hospitalised and possibly a plague of flies, is happening in Dublin 4. So it does happen in Dublin 4 sometimes.

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