Let's just call the whole thing off
We have a lot to learn from our Northern brethren. Not just our quaint nationalist friends, but their unionist brothers and sisters as well.
In a world that is becoming increasingly homogenised, in which our kids talk in American accents, in which Irish people consume a diet of English sport and American movies, where high streets the world over are becoming identical, they steadfastly cling to old, unique ways of doing things. They are like vinyl record-collecting hipsters in their quest to hold on to authenticity. And they like a beard as well.
There is a real danger that the great British tradition of a big shaven-headed lad banging a drum and more lads marching around in bowler hats would die out if they didn't keep it going up North. You don't see those poncy liberals in London marching around playing the flute any more, do you?