Wednesday 22 May 2019

Easy weight loss with the Diet of Diets

Carbilicious ... try a few (not too many) new potatoes smothered in butter
Carbilicious ... try a few (not too many) new potatoes smothered in butter
Brendan O'Connor
Brendan O'Connor

Brendan O'Connor

It has come to my attention that some of you are thinking that the Diet of Diets is a joke. To those people I say three pounds lost in week two bringing us to a total of five pounds lost in two weeks with little hardship and under not ideal circumstances, what with injury curtailing the exercise part of the equation.

To recap briefly, having scanned all the New Year diets for the most effective and least painful methods of losing weight, I have come up with the Diet of Diets. It's pretty simple really.

Eat no breakfast. Try and do all your eating in an eight-hour window. Try and avoid junk and snacks, and if you do badly need a treat, just try and have one square of chocolate or a bite off a bar and savour it.

If you feel you are going to pass out at any point, have some fruit. I've been doing pears and kiwis, but basically whatever fruit you like as long as it's below 55 on the Glycaemic load scale. Google the list. Berries are best if you can handle them. And drink liquids. Right now I find slightly warm water goes down easier than freezing cold water. Get some exercise too. Even walking is good.

I'll admit that I'm not too hopeful of great weight loss in week three. Because, as always, events. I had a few beers at the weekend, and then it was my birthday midweek. The birthday wasn't so depressing actually because for some reason I got it into my head that I was going to be 49, which is practically 50, which is practically 60. And then the elder child pointed out I'm only turning 48, so that was a bit of a bonus, getting younger on my birthday.

Speaking as the great guru of the Diet of Diets I have some wisdom for you on how to handle birthdays or nights out. The main thing is you should enjoy them. But it can be done without going on a massive crazy blow-out. I had a civilised dinner in Terra Madre, and actually, if you eat like an Italian, which you will in a proper Italian like Terra Madre, then it's not a huge blow-out. The pasta portion will be modest and the dessert will be civilised. The food is all fresh and involves good produce with minimal interference, so you will savour each tasty morsel, and you won't feel bad after it.

The trick then is to move on. The next day I didn't decide I had fallen off the wagon so it was all over and I might as well have a breakfast roll. I just moved on, and had no breakfast, even though I wanted eight slices of buttery toast.

And that's the key really. You need to be able to step off the diet in a civilised way, not go too crazy but enjoy yourself, and then step back on the diet without remorse. The diet of diets is about not having an all-or-nothing approach. It is a diet for the way we live our lives today. Neither is it about denial. Once you get in the habit of no breakfast you can pretty much have a nice dinner then. I tend to have soup for lunch and then a regular dinner, just a smaller portion, which you will get used to very quickly, and obviously I don't overdo it on the carbs.

Actually the best way to have a little bit of carbs without going nuts is a few new potatoes. I even slather them in butter. I figure it's better than having bread or pasta. And again, it's about learning to have some, enjoy them, but don't feel you need to eat the whole pot. I could have decided it was all gone to hell too when I broke my rib/ribs.

Indeed I had a setback there when I thought they were getting better only to discover when the painkillers they gave me ran out that actually they weren't better and I possibly shouldn't have started swinging a child around my head again. But I didn't give up. I worked with what I had. So while I'm not doing anything strenuous, I'm walking everywhere and having a light, short swim. And I'm not beating myself up about it.

When I develop this nonsense into a book, not beating yourself up will be one of the key phrases.

And I know you're laughing, but I'm telling you, I'm on to something with the Diet of Diets. The Diet of Diets - for people who don't want to diet - could be the big hit diet book of 2030, or whenever I get around to writing it.

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