Saturday 20 October 2018

Caught in warning whirlwind

Stock picture
Stock picture
Brendan O'Connor

Brendan O'Connor

We begin this piece with a warning. This article may upset you. As with flash flooding, you may misjudge the depth of this article. It will possibly be much shallower than you think. You may also find that, like the weather, it is simultaneously too dry, while also being too damp. At this point in the article we are issuing a status yellow alert, but this may change, depending on how the piece develops.

This warning is in line with a new widespread policy of taking Met Eireann's warning system and applying it to everything, because Met Eireann is right about this. People need to be warned more about things, everything. For example, over the last few days the country has been operating under a warning about the dry weather, and a warning about the wet weather.

It was literally a glass-half-empty situation. Met Eireann's warning system has helped us to see clearly that everything has potentially disastrous consequences: 'The weather is good. My God, no! Save yourselves! We're all doomed. If only it would rain. It's going to rain! God help us all. Oh, the humanity. Stay in your houses. No unnecessary journeys.' It's almost like no good can come of anything. And it is a very Irish way of looking at the world. Like the kind of homespun wisdom your granny taught you. Good weather, bad weather, whatever it is, it'll all end in tears. But the tears will not be enough to moisten the parched soil.

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