Wednesday 21 February 2018

'Once the ground dried, he was rounded as easily as a Crimean roadblock'

Waterlogged pitches suited Mikey Muddy
Waterlogged pitches suited Mikey Muddy
Billy Keane

Billy Keane

Mikey Muddy is getting caught out now that the soil is beginning to dry out. The year started out the finest, what with all the rain and the rivers busting their banks.

Meenagansmal GAA pitch was supposedly all-weather but no amount of drainage could dry out the field after rains that had nervous men building arks in hay sheds. Indeed, Mikey was the only man in the club to vote against the drainage which was paid for by the local returned-from-England millionaire, who went across the water with a tenner and a hammer only to return with £15m, sterling.

Mikey spoke passionately at the club meeting. "The all-weather fields will be too firm. Lads' ligaments will be stretched like knicker elastic on a strong woman. There will be injuries and dislocations and lacerations, for sure," he pleaded.

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