How to cope without the soap operas now the football has taken over our TVs
There will be hundreds and thousands all across the wailing island of Ireland who will have to go to bed tonight without a bedtime story.
How will ye get to sleep at all? Drink, maybe? Pills? Our people have been deprived of the consolation of a killing or a kidnapping or a huge argument with or without bloodshed or adultery, or any form of vicarious sex.
Withdrawal, it's called. And the fall-out from the fix is all down to the cancellation of tonight's soaps in favour of the soccer.