Sunday 25 February 2018

Billy Keane: Finally I'm not ashamed to say it: I've fallen hoplessly in love with a man

Billy Keane. Photo: Mark Condren
Billy Keane. Photo: Mark Condren

I'm in love with a man. This will come as a shock to those of you who know me well. I have children, four at last count, and just the one wife, but I have fallen hopelessly in love with a man. Yes, a man. A lovely man. I have known him since I was born, at a very early age. I'd love to give him a big hug. Right now. He's here with me, watching the laptop screen as I type. So why not? Go on, he says. Go on, do it. Hug him to bits. I've done it. Hugged him, that is. UUUUUUUUUUU but it feels so good.

I have this man's permission to reveal his identity. He doesn't mind my telling and I want to shout my love out from the rooftops. I want to shout my love in a place where echoes live and reproduce. I have rubbed oil on his body. I have put my fingers through his receding hair. I sleep with him every single night. There have been intimacies. Love is all that counts.

Oh, but he's so good to me. Yes, yes, yes, I'm in love with a wonderful man and I don't care a damn what anyone says or thinks.

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