Sunday 25 February 2018

Billy Keane: Finally I'm not ashamed to say it: I've fallen hoplessly in love with a man

Billy Keane. Photo: Mark Condren
Billy Keane. Photo: Mark Condren

I'm in love with a man. This will come as a shock to those of you who know me well. I have children, four at last count, and just the one wife, but I have fallen hopelessly in love with a man. Yes, a man. A lovely man. I have known him since I was born, at a very early age. I'd love to give him a big hug. Right now. He's here with me, watching the laptop screen as I type. So why not? Go on, he says. Go on, do it. Hug him to bits. I've done it. Hugged him, that is. UUUUUUUUUUU but it feels so good.

I have this man's permission to reveal his identity. He doesn't mind my telling and I want to shout my love out from the rooftops. I want to shout my love in a place where echoes live and reproduce. I have rubbed oil on his body. I have put my fingers through his receding hair. I sleep with him every single night. There have been intimacies. Love is all that counts.

Oh, but he's so good to me. Yes, yes, yes, I'm in love with a wonderful man and I don't care a damn what anyone says or thinks.

Please sign in or register with for free access to Opinions.

Sign In

Promoted Links

Today's news headlines, directly to your inbox every morning.

Don't Miss