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Bill Linnane: 'We're herd animals - there is comfort in togetherness'

Bill Linnane is trapped with the family

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Charlize Theron's character, Furiosa, is an elite Imperator leading rebel groups across the wasteland. Photo: Warner Bros./Village Roadshow Films

Charlize Theron's character, Furiosa, is an elite Imperator leading rebel groups across the wasteland. Photo: Warner Bros./Village Roadshow Films

Charlize Theron's character, Furiosa, is an elite Imperator leading rebel groups across the wasteland. Photo: Warner Bros./Village Roadshow Films

Somehow, I always knew that being surrounded by loved ones for extended periods was bad for your health, but here we are with the confirmation of same. There is a great irony in the fact that so many of the symptoms of Covid-19 are the same as those you feel after about 48 hours trapped with so-called loved ones - sore throat from shouting at them, headache from them shouting back, and cabin fever well past boiling point.

We thought Storm Emma was a painful experience, as we were trapped in each other's company for three days, but at least then we had snowpeople to fashion and snowball fights to escalate. Now we just have each other and a fear of the outside world.

It started well - on the first day there were arts and crafts, story time, baking, and actual effort being put into our parenting. By day two we realised that this was unsustainable and that teachers and childcare workers should automatically qualify for canonisation. By day three, I was ready to snap - it was Groundhog Day, an endless loop of ham sandwiches, laundry, terrifying news bulletins and counting rolls of toilet paper like a scatological Silas Marner, because if this thing was going to be our undoing, then by god we were going to have the cleanest arses in the morgue.