Wednesday 17 October 2018

Anyone for dinner? I aim to impress

'You can get away with murder with a barbecue'
'You can get away with murder with a barbecue'

John Masterson

The winter is drawing in. The barbecue season has closed, even to devotees like me. The outside tables and chairs have been put away or tied down thanks to Ophelia. That season of the year has arrived where people eat indoors and the guests expect something better and more imaginative than burgers, steak and chicken drumsticks.

You can get away with murder with a barbecue. I always lie about marinating and think they believe me. Indoors, the world has changed beyond recognition and with it comes great social pressure.

The old cure for cooking anxiety was easy. A few drinks. For them. Not me. In days gone past you could serve any old slop you liked once they had got through a litre of CDC gin and Schweppes. Regular or slimline tonic were the only options. Today people claim to know the difference between about 15 different gins (14 of which I do not stock) and a multitude of flavoured tonics, again, none of which I have. There are people who even ask "do you only have lemon?"

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