| 5.6°C Dublin

Close

Premium

Basic B*tch: Overheard at brunch (Zoom edition)

Close

Vogue Williams

Vogue Williams

Vogue Williams

"Ohmygod I'm sorry for the TMI but I need to tell someone: I haven't pooped in so long, I'm in so much pain. This is literal hell.

"I can't go. I can't. There's one bathroom. And when he goes, I can hear him - like, I can hear everything. It's like he's sitting on the toilet in the room with me, no matter where I am in the flat. And he has no idea. I went in the middle of the night the other week, like a turd burglar. Or whatever the opposite of a burglar is.

"Look, it's not what either of us would have chosen in an ideal world. But it was either quarantine together or not see each other for god-knows-how-long. And it was at that weird three-month point.