"You think that's bad? I think my mother's totally lost the plot. Wait til you hear; it's hilarious. So she called me up the other day, and says, 'Luuuuucy' - and don't ask me why, but I just knew: I knew from the way she said my name that she'd either bought me a wedding dress, or booked a venue.
"So I was like, 'Yessss,' and she says, 'Don't be cross, but I've bought you a wedding dress'. It turns out that she basically saw my perfect wedding dress, the dress, the last one, in my size, on sale for €100. So she just got it.
"Obviously she knew, because obviously it was something we've talked about - you know, the way you talk about these things - so she knows literally exactly what I want: the length, the sleeves, the cape detail and overlay and buttons. And there it was. And obviously we're not engaged-engaged, but like he's said that he would get married one day, and he definitely knows that I want to get married, and we're moving in together, so...
"OK. So she might have called me before she bought it. To ask. But €100, like! It would have been crazier to say no, to be honest.
"But anyway, back to you and yours - I just love that ring. Are the shoulders pear or marquise? I'm really torn with whether to halo or not to halo! Have you got any potential dates for your actual wedding? Spring? 2021, is it?
"Hopefully not the last week of October. Hmm? I'm kidding, obviously! But there's a really amazing venue that apparently has availability then. It's not a big deal. I'm mostly kidding. Obviously, get married whenever you want.
"But you know what, if you're stuck I can just give you a list of places that I liked but were too small for me. I was just browsing, you know. The way you do."
Not, alas, traditional female musicians, such as, say, Sharon Shannon, Mary Black or Eleanor McEvoy. No, #tradwives are a vocal throwback to traditional gender roles, and while we do not necessarily have an issue with this - each to their own, people - they have some strange bedfellows, namely white supremacists and the Christian Right. Not so fragrant now, eh?
Sunday Indo Life Magazine