I wish I could cut my own hair. I want a massage, every day. I want potatoes, in some form, with every meal. I want salt on literally everything, and pickles with most things.
I wish I was thinner; I want to get over that. I want a curated ear; I want long princess hair; I want to wear clothes made of blankets every day. Sometimes, I wish I was invisible.
I want to learn how to blow glass, throw pots, bind books, make prints, upholster furniture. I wish I knew a thing about antiques, and the economy.
I want to not buy seven different outfits for the seven weddings I'm going to this year. I wish I knew that I wouldn't.
I wish I'd argued more for a softer mattress. I wish I hadn't gone completely off meat. I want to want a bacon sandwich sometimes, but I don't know why. I wish I didn't see the point of veganism.
I want to wake up refreshed in the morning. I want to punch a lot of people in the face; I wish I knew how to punch.
I want to read all the books; I wish I didn't watch all the Netflix. I want my grandmother's brown bread. I want to reply to all my messages.
I want a new digestive system; I want a new nervous system; I want new legs that can climb (small) mountains. I want a wheelchair that can climb (small) mountains. I wish I had a washing line outside, to dry my clothes. I want nothing to change; I want to move house.
I wish I didn't enjoy Love Island. I want to learn to get by in Italian, small talk, and sign language. I want my nephew to have just-turned-three forever.
I wish I retained more of the information from worthy American podcasts; I want to know why I like listening to true crime. I wish I was able to talk about books I read more than three months ago. I wish more things came in corduroy; I wish my mum wasn't dead; I wish I loved dogs. I want to want a dog, I don't know why.
It was fun for a while: 'Game of Thrones', 'Dungeons and Dragons', the emergence of a generation of adult fantasy nerds. But now we've reached saturation point. 'The Witcher' on Netflix; a zillion episodes of 'Lord of The Rings' soon to be on Amazon; Gwyneth Paltrow in a Tom Ford armoured breastplate, Cate Blanchett, left, in a diamante one at the Golden Globes. Time to grow up, maybe?