Friday 23 February 2018

Why Bridget Joneses will have the best festive season

Among the many perks of being single at Christmas, writes Andrea Smith, is letting others do all the work

Like every other bloody holiday in the entire Hallmark calendar, Christmas is a veritable hoot for the single, childless spinster. Statistically speaking, 40-something women are more likely to die from being flattened by a neighbour's twinkly six-foot Santa falling off the roof, than be thrilled by a kiss under the mistletoe from an admirer. Or indeed any man with a pulse, with or without his own hair.

When you're single and middle-aged, highlights of the festive season include suffering other people's tedious in-laws, tolerating pesky kids with shrill, noisy toys, and buying six generous presents for your sister's family, including her boorish husband, and receiving one '3-for-the-price-of-2' Boots giftset in return. A set that you seem to recall seeing at the bottom of her wardrobe among the other unwanted pressies last year, when you were snooping while babysitting her gang of spoilt little brats.

At 43, I have come to accept that singledom is for life and not just for Christmas, but it definitely has its perks. Every family in the country has that wayward brother, weirdo sister or bachelor uncle who has to be included in the spirit of Christmas, but add very little to the gaiety of the occasion.

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