Monday 19 March 2018

We should protect vulnerable tweens against 'Bieber Fever'

As kids the world over succumb to delirium, Eilis O'Hanlon wishes we would just let children be children

And they called it puppy love. Oh, I guess we'll never know... I certainly don't. Probably never will. In fact, I don't think I've been more insulted in my life than when the man in the office said: "You have young children, don't you? Your house must be awash with Bieber fever right now."

No offence to the Canadian pop sensation, who brought Dublin to a screaming standstill last week, but if my children were to regard The Bieber with anything other than scorn and derision, I'd consider myself a total failure as a parent, as a mentor -- heck, as a human being -- and put them up for adoption immediately.

Jedmania, I get completely. Jedward are as mad as the proverbial box of frogs, but it's hard not to take a liking to them. They're sui generis. They're funny. They're... Jedward. If they had eight million followers on Twitter, and their videos had been viewed more than a billion times on YouTube, I'd say fair play to them. And mean it. But if John and Edward Grimes are a hearty feast of fun, then Justin Bieber, by comparison, is a service station sandwich, made of rubbery, processed cheese, limp lettuce, and rancid margarine. It satisfies some temporary peckishness, but it's only going to make you feel sick later.

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