Mary O'Conor: There are ways to spice up the love life you already have
Sex therapist and agony aunt suggests some ways to improve your sex life without straying
One of the biggest problems facing people in this sexually liberated age is that their expectations are very high with regard to their sex lives. They believe that everybody else is having wonderfully exciting and innovative sex all the time while their own sex lives are sadly lacking. The reality is that most people struggle at some stage, most often when they are in a long-term relationship, but nobody likes to admit this – not even to their closest friends.
In order for any relationship to develop there needs to be a sexual chemistry between the couple. The spark that they feel when they first meet acts as a genuine aphrodisiac and this, together with the other things that they find attractive, helps build the relationship very often leading to a serious and long-term commitment.
In general couples experience very little sexual difficulties at this early stage – what has been called the 'bunny phase' – indeed a lot of thought goes into planning when and where they can be alone together in order to experience further delights. Of course this phase doesn't last – I have read reports of anything from one to three years – and as other things such as work, home and children take precedence they settle down to a sex life that is rarely as exciting as the one they had to begin with.