Lies, damned lies, and the wickedness of Wikipedia
Googling away, as one does, I came across my Wikipedia entry the other day, and learnt for the very first time that I was recruited as an agent by the British in Belfast.
Furthermore, I also discovered that a sexual offence by me against a young boy was hushed up by the authorities, and the child's parents were mysteriously induced to stay silent.
That entry has since been removed. Later -- the Wikipedia entry informed me -- I then became a British agent in the Republic, and Wikipedia even quoted at length from a column I had never written, extolling our duty to be loyal to Mother England.