Tuesday 24 October 2017

Keep the Dail bar open morning, noon and night for the good of the country

SEAN Barrett, the sage Ceann Comhairle who keeps order in our parliament, has referred the question of late opening of the Dail bar to an in- house committee. I implore the deputies to keep their private bar open day and night. It's your patriotic duty.

If the TDs and senators are locked in the Dail bar, the rest of us will be able to enjoy our late-night drinks in the nearby pubs without having to listen to whinging as to why they've been overlooked for a cabinet post, or how it is they were knifed in the back by constituency colleagues, or how they fixed up your third cousin with a cushy number counting missing things for the EU, and they agree with you on every single issue, particularly if you're from their constituency, but without actually saying so, and what great lads they are themselves, the true story of their ancestors' fight for Irish freedom, the gamey 'bird' at the bar fancies me but I'm a family man, and stories beginning with "As I said to the Taoiseach".

I have suffered, and the experience mirrors that of a time traveller. It's worse than time standing still. The clock actually goes back an hour, like in winter.

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