Tuesday 28 January 2020

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Week-ipedia - Kim Bielenberg

Shane O'Donnell

The previously unknown 19-year-old became a sporting sensation within a matter of minutes when his hat-trick of goals helped Clare win the All-Ireland final.

O'Donnell is a student of genetics at UCC. We can't confirm rumours that Clare County Council has given him a grant to clone himself.

Pink

Boffins at the University of Exeter were in a flap after they made a startling discovery. Pink is the colour of domination. They found that the leading birds in a flock of flamingos are those that are the most pink.

Okay Barbie, I'll do what you say.

Barack Obama

The United States was hit by a partial government shutdown, as government workers were forced to take unpaid leave.

Jay Leno warned beforehand: "If the government does shut down, non-essential White House employees will be sent home without pay – so more bad news for Joe Biden."

Pilots

More than half of pilots have fallen asleep in the cockpit, according to a survey by a pilots' union.

And of the 56pc who admitted nodding off, as many as 29pc said they awoke to find the other pilot asleep.

This is your pilot snoring.

Irish Independent

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