Frosty gives the Green light to celebs for 'Mayor Factor'

The Greens love nothing better than a spot of cogitation. When all other political parties are losing their heads, the Greens can be found in a collegial huddle, having a lengthy mull. A robust rumination. A considered consideration. Party leader John 'Frosty' Gormley is of course the Minister for Weather (he's in charge of weather the Greens stay in government or not); Trevor Sargent is the Minister of Food for Thought, while Eamon Ryan is the thinking woman's ... oh never mind. And yesterday they were at it again. 2010 is still but a pup, and already the parliamentary party had gathered in a hotel for a two-day think-in, to gird their collective cerebellums for the new Dail term, which kicks off next Tuesday. Last year there were think-ins and pow-wows and conferences galore, where the party membership merrily discussed NAMA, the revised Programme for Government and the Lisbon referendum (remember that one, folks?). Surely it's only a matter of time before the party's flower logo is replaced by The Thinker, Rodin's admirable sculpture of a man in deep contemplation. But all of this exercising of the little grey cells in the Westgrove Hotel in Clane, Co Kildare, on Thursday and yesterday was not in vain. For by the time the eight Green parliamentary party members -- minus Energy Minister Eamon Ryan, who was in Seville for a (guess) conference, but including new Green senator Niall O Brolchain -- filed into the press conference yesterday, they had invented an exciting new game-show. Obviously aware of the fact that -- along with the rest of the country -- Dubliners are mightily cheesed-off over the shambolic carry-on of the Government over the matter of its handling of floods, snow and now, incredibly, of drought, Frosty and his friends have devised 'The Mayor Factor'. Gormley had talked last year about creating the post of a Dublin mayor, a position which will have real political clout and not just a pretty gold chain and a sojourn in a cool house on Dawson Street. But yesterday the Environment Minister announced that this wheeze was now up and running, and a June election was very much on the cards. "The Dublin mayor will have significant powers in relation to transport, and will sit on the Dublin transportation authority," he enthused. "The mayor will also have responsibility for planning," he said, adding that this plum post would also come with a pay packet "on the same par as a ministerial salary". Gormley was a bit vague on the nitty-gritty of the job specifications for applying for the job of Grand Poobah of Dublin -- such as will applicants have to be as short as New York's Michael Bloomberg, or as barmy as London's Boris Johnson -- but he reckoned that the candidate selection process could be the hottest reality talent show in town. "I would hope that we could get a high-calibre candidate to contest it. I would hope that the citizens of our capital city will really engage with this project," he added. One suspects there is little doubt that the Dubs will have some serious craic with this election. If there aren't posters proclaiming Dustin For Mayor on lamp-posts along the Longmile Road by Easter, it'll be a sore disappointment. And since the title of Lord/Lady Mayor is already taken, how shall the new bigwig be addressed by the citizenry? His/Her High Segotia? Or Mister/Missis Mickey Dazzler? The Right Honorable Rashers, after James Plunkett's quintessential Dub? And it's also a racing certainty that the line-up of contestants won't be merely a cabal of party time-servers. This is Hollywood by way of the Five Lamps. For Gormley was breezily confident that there would be celebrities going for the gig. "I've heard of celebrity candidates going forward," he smiled knowingly. Janey Mack. Who'll go forward to the final of The Mayor Factor? A retired star footballer like Niall Quinn? Surely managing Dublin would be a doddle after running the show in Sunderland. Or Sinead O'Connor. Surely managing Dublin would be child's play after playing the Virgin Mary. Or in these recessionary times, two mayors for the price of one, in Jedward. And it could be that one kingmaker is already in action. For as Gormley was bigging up the mayor gig, back in Leinster House, former Green MEP Eoin Ryan was spotted on the plinth, deep in conversation with PJ Mara. And speaking of PJ, there's always Bertie.

Frosty gives the Green light to celebs for 'Mayor Factor'

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