Thursday 14 December 2017

Eilis O'Hanlon: Austerity is a one-way street for Sinn Fein

The party calls for cuts while a member claims up to €90,000 in fall compensation

The new year fast approaches, when Ireland gets to take over the EU Presidency. Huge honour. Great responsibility. Blah, blah, blah. More urgently, it's time to fix those stairs and mend them banisters and grout all loose paving stones back into place.

The last thing we need is for an accident to befall one of our continental masters when they come to call. It might make them less inclined to support Irish prayers for an easing of the terms of our slavery. And besides, we can't afford to foot the bill for compo.

Sadly, it's too late to do anything about Michelle Gildernew. The Sinn Fein Member of Parliament has already lodged a claim after tumbling down the stairs at Leinster House during a visit south to meet the Oireachtas Good Friday Agreement committee. The footage hasn't yet appeared on You've Been Framed so details remain sketchy, but apparently it had something to do with a pair of knee-high boots and a metal grate. Suffice to say the ensuing brush with the force of gravity resulted in a trip to A&E, some plaster and crutches, and now a potentially lucrative appointment with the Personal Injuries Assessment Board to assess her claim for physical and psychological harm.

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