Wednesday 23 May 2018

Cork people less randy shock

So productivity is up. You could even say we're becoming more competitive. Of course we're mainly producing them for export. But it seems we are making them faster than we can ship them out. But while making babies might seem like nice, clean, cheap fun in the recession, in the long run it's apparently going to cost us a fortune.

The population of our little country is now more than four-and-a-half million and growing. You could almost say we're heading up to a point where we'll need a famine or natural disaster to level it off, because the unnatural disasters we've gone through over the last few years clearly aren't doing the job.

One major downside of the population explosion is that we will apparently need more TDs than we thought we did, so now we can only get rid of an unlucky 13 of them. In reality, of course, we only need about 13 TDs but, like the cockroaches they are, they always survive. Nobody is even trying to explain the logic of why we now need 153 TDs, they just say things like "because the population is now 4.58 million, we need at least 153 TDs", as if it is some kind of natural law. 30,000 punters, tops, per TD, the way God intended it.

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