Whenever I hear a Sinn Fein representative utter the words 'united Ireland', I shudder and call to mind the lyrics of an Ian Gillan song Let Me Out of Heaven, Oh God it's Awful Here.
hese words came to mind last week as Martin McGuinness told the Irish Examiner a referendum on the issue could occur in the North to mark the centenary of the 1916 Easter Rising.
The Sinn Fein Deputy First Minister thinks a poll in 2016 or 2021/22 would be sensible timing but, in reality, his attention is on the progress of Alex Salmond toward the independence of Scotland and is not likely to forego the opportunity of getting on the referendum bandwagon now that it's rolling.
The lesson not learned from Scotland is Alex Salmond and his SNP have achieved their progress to date on the back of a policy of non-violent persuasion and our unification aspirations are tainted by the bloodletting engineered by Martin McGuinness and Co over at least two generations in the North.
As a person who believes in the eventuality of a united Ireland, I also believe the thought of the Sinn Fein version of a united Ireland should cause us all to shudder. Let me explain.
What is Sinn Fein's version of united Ireland? The question hasn't really been addressed in the series of conferences the party has organised over the past year and isn't likely to be apart from a foggy dew of rhetoric about a socialist republic with, of course, a 'Unionist Charter' to protect the rights of the minority.
A clue as to how unionists would be treated by the victors in that scenario is provided in TG4's television travesty, Mna an IRA, where one side only gets to tell the story of the conflict in the North in a documentary series hiding behind the skirts of a gender equality agenda. Woe betide anyone who dares to question that version of history, as this writer recently discovered.
Unionists would also do well to bear in mind a recent court case in Belfast where the excellent Irish-medium post-primary college Colaiste Feirste was forced to bring the North's department of education to court to seek on behalf of prospective pupils situated in Downpatrick the right to travel to Belfast to attend the school.
Arguing against the proposition in Belfast's High Courts, the lawyers for the Sinn Fein ministry described the 'Good Friday Agreement', on which the school was partially relying, as an 'aspirational document'. Not very comforting for unionists.
Important as they are as a minority within this island, unionists are only part of the story. We have a host of problems to deal with at present, all of which threaten the future of life on this Emerald Isle -- would that there were a few more emeralds and some of our troubles might be allayed -- and a debate on a united Ireland seems like a distraction.
But it's often been argued by Sinn Fein that a united Ireland is a far more attractive economic and social proposition than the current partitioned island. It's hard to argue with such logic when faced with, for instance, the foreign exchange chicanery engaged in by banks when money is crossing the Border. Or when you look at the savings -- both lives and costs -- we could achieve if we had just one health service on the island.
All this and more would seem to make the case of a united Ireland unanswerable.
Except the only examples of how a united Ireland would operate in a Sinn Fein future come to us via the north/ south institutions set up under the Good Friday Agreement. At least one of those institutions operates within a cloak of secrecy and doesn't appear to be accountable to the people.
The cross-Border body for the promotion of Irish, Foras na Gaeilge, provides an object lesson on how such a united Ireland might work. Its last annual report, for the year 2007, was published last June. It makes interesting reading.
The Foras na Gaeilge board has 16 members, four of which are from Sinn Fein.
In 2007, Foras spent €76,376 on its website, www.gaeilge.ie. When compared with other Government websites, this may not seem like a great deal but given the lack of usage of the website by the Foras itself, it seems wasteful.
For instance, the last press release in that section was published in September. The Foras na Gaeilge chief executive was reappointed during 2011 but this fact did not merit a press release, at least not one which was published on the website. Whether this reappointment was carried out in a transparent and accountable way is also open to question. The topic is not mentioned in the minutes of board meetings made available in redacted form on the website.
Just before Christmas, a new board was appointed by the relevant ministers north and south, but apart from a list of names, there's no other information on the new appointees, though a brief note advises that biographies of each new member will be published there shortly.
I know of one or two of the names of the new appointees. Therese Ruane is a prospective Sinn Fein candidate in Mayo on whom the party is resting its hopes in Enda Kenny's own constituency.
Thomas Sharkey is a former party hopeful in Louth who was usurped from his position of Arthur Morgan's heir-apparent when Gerry Adams parachuted in from Belfast. It's hardly beyond Sinn Fein to use the appointments in their gift to boost both Ruane and Sharkey's electoral chances south of the Border. Neither is widely known as an Irish-language activist.
North and south of the Border there are new procedures being applied for the appointment of members to State boards.
For instance, the public is being invited to apply for these posts of responsibility and, it has to be said, rewards. In the case of Foras na Gaeilge, there is no way you can get appointed except through the political patronage of either minister or the four main political parties in the North.
Freedom of Information legislation doesn't apply to Foras na Gaeilge even though it applies to State boards north and south, just not north/South boards. It has a code of practice -- but it's not bound to release any documents under law.
The overall picture presented doesn't give one hope of a united Ireland in which transparency or accountability will be cherished.
Was it for this died the sons -- and daughters -- of Roisin?
