Friday 15 December 2017

Billy Keane: Want to avoid the property tax? Buy some sheep – they'll even cut your grass

Easter Monday is easily the best day to buy the Easter eggs. The shopkeepers will be dying to be rid of any leftovers and there will be substantial savings for the canny consumer.

The day-older Easter egg tastes the exact same. The price of lamb also tumbles after Easter Sunday. The supermarkets will have dedicated shelves with almost-out-of-date fruit and veg at half price or less. Easter Sunday wine will be as cheap as water in a reverse miracle.

So here's the plan for Easter. In these challenging times – as the politicians say on Cliche Day, which is every day – celebrate Easter Sunday on Easter Monday.

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